Listicles Have a Tendency to be Chewy

Things that are easier since I quit biting my nails:

• Scratching bug bites
• Popping Zits
• Giving goose-bump-inducing cranial messages
• Opening the little flap on my cell phone so I can plug in my charger
• Doing that bitchy, impatient finger-tapping thing favored by Bond villains and evil receptionists with waxed upper lips
• Peeling back that stubborn last layer of skin on an onion

Things that are more difficult since I quit biting my nails:

• The two-fingered scroll thingy on the touchpad on my Mac
• Typing in general
• Self-pleasure of the intimate kind
• Painting my nails (really? REALLY? seems unfair)
• Picking my nose

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